People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center
of attention.
----
"Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds of people in the world
-- there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's
morning."
----
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he
was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note
under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 imes.
If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this
note.
"I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll
lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
----
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what
the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay, said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
----
Sunday after church a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was
about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped
by for tea and the mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson
was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming".
----
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her
brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable
in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
of attention.
----
"Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds of people in the world
-- there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's
morning."
----
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he
was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note
under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 imes.
If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this
note.
"I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll
lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
----
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what
the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay, said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
----
Sunday after church a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was
about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped
by for tea and the mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson
was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming".
----
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her
brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable
in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
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